not looking for God, only for myself

I'm having that awkward moment when you know you're overemotional and hormonal when a story you're writing at 3AM is leaving a lump in your throat, even though it's a crap story. Oh and work is at 10:30AM and I'm not tired. HOORAY except not really. What is your life, Sam?

Um, on another matter entirely: I'm not sure what's going on with Livejournal, but in case it decides to implode with the way it's been acting lately, I'm letting you guys know that I have a Tumblr and a Dreamwidth account. (I've also got an Insanejournal and Plurk accounts lying around someplace. Same screen name for all of them, btw.) Just in case you guys wanted a friendly reminder! I doubt anything bad's going to happen, but I figure the heads-up wouldn't hurt.

I got this result more than once with more than one fic.

Well! That's pretty cool.

So, I caved and actually asked for a bingo table at hc_bingo. Because clearly I've lost my sanity. I'm not even huge on the genre as a whole, but I wanted to see which prompts I'd receive and if it'd work for me at all, because sometimes I don't mind H/C. (I asked for them to leave off sexual trauma and abuse, so if you're going to get a table and you're not comfortable with those prompts, please make sure to tell them that. Because a lot of them involve child abuse, for some reason.)

( The Bingo Table, plus thoughts... )

I came back from a barbecue at my older sister's place. I ducked out early because my head was bothering me and I felt like I was getting sick again. One of the lowest highlights of my night involved Jason's thirty-year-old sister apologizing for making a crude gesture in front of me about dicks and assuming I was a really young teenager. Yes, believe it or not, I am twenty-two years old, damn it. D:

I attempted to watch this lame anime last night, and...I forgot the name of it. I discovered it when I was looking at this list of Anime Love Scenes on YouTube and I thought I'd give it a try. But I ended up hatewatching episodes three and four before I finally gathered my senses and dropped it like a bad habit. It was basically a girl reluctantly loving a boy who treats her like shit but the boy is set up as this secretly wonderful and soft-hearted guy on the inside SO IT'S OKAY, EVENTUALLY HE STOPS BEING A JERK and ugh. I hated it and it was only four episodes, so I'll get back with you with the name of it if anyone's curious.

Oh and in less than happier news, I lost my debit card at Target. They destroyed it by the time I reported it missing. But gee, it would've been nice if they notified me any of this OVER THE PHONE when I called and asked if I left it there. 8| So. I guess I'm going to have to report it missing and asked for another one.

And because I forgot to mention it, Scruffy's improving very quickly. He's walking normally, his appetite is slowly coming back, and he's interacting with us again instead of sitting around and staring off into space. I think what helped was that my parents stopped giving him his painkillers, which were making him too loopy to do anything. His head is still tilting, but he's much better off than he was when we first brought him home.

... Since I read through a lot of my stories and winced at most of them:

After I wake up, I must spend the entire day beta-reading everything. Which means printing shit out. Which means taking a pen and striking out everything I don't want. Which means, after I'm done crying about how terrible of a writer I am, I should work up the courage and ask somebody to beta my stories for me.

Uh. That's about it.

I hate my writing, ugggghhh. I really need to start cracking down on this shit.